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Contest winner 12/1: 5 ways FB will ruin your relationship

December 2, 2011 · Posted By: Caley Tate

So you’re searching for love? Perhaps you have even tried the cliché social media websites in order to meet the man or woman of your dreams? Chances are you have a Facebook account and you have searched for someone …numerous times. Whether you like it or not, Facebook has changed our traditional ways of dating, for worse.

Facebook can mess your life up in more ways than one. It can get you fired from your job, evicted from your apartment, plunge you into debt with its addictive games and cause conflicting arguments with your boyfriend or girlfriend. We all know from experience that this is a real threat, it makes dating far more complicated than it used to be.

For instance, you will be able to see all of the action that your ex is getting into via wall posts, status updates, and the worst of all, photos. That guy posted on her wall thanking her for such a great time last night, but she just broke up with you a few days ago. Ouch. Another ‘embarrassing’ topic is that relationships and breakups are made public. The first status change is not the only challenge, how about when it ends? How soon is it okay to switch back to single? A common question we may ask ourselves, which also creates stress and problems that were not as prominent before Facebook came into our lives. Sometimes breakups occur from this without any notice, this can’t feel good. Another issue that arises from Facebook is that other people’s comments will make your date jealous, which has caused many breakups. Many people tend towards jealousy and overanalyzing online.

Facebook is an automatic record tracker of every relationship mistake that you have ever made. It serves as a record of everything that you have done since creating your account. My advice, be careful with Facebook. When looking for love, keep off of the keyboard and socialize face to face.


 

  • Jjkl

    great story

  • Sharon

    So True

  • Mikey

    Very interesting article. It really does make sense, some relationships get ruined from social media, but then again some people meet the man or woman of their dreams online. Nice article Caley.

  • charlie chips

    im concur with the article

  • Jennifer

    Caley I love reading your stuff, way to go!

  • Lauraldesigner

    Interesting article ….. I happen to agree with you! It’s all about meeting people face to face!!

  • Ed

    Facebook is a life ruiner! haha

  • Jonandfloss

    Perhaps as a happily married person I have no room to comment on the dating aspect of this piece. However since the link came to me through Facebook I will use this opportunity to point out a few flaws.
    Repeatedly searching for someone is called “Stalking”. In many states it is illegal regardless of your methods. If the person wants to be in contact with you, they will be. Human interaction at any level can not and should not be forced. To flat out say that FB has changed dating for the worse is not only a sweeping generalization, it also is a discredit to the many lost loves and reconnections that have Facebook to thank for their blissful reunion. Don’t cast aspersions because of your bad experiences. We don’t “all know from experience” about conflicting arguments with significant others on social media. If you have arguments on Facebook they will surely come up in person to person contact over the course of a long term relationship. When they do, they may or may not be considered a deal breaker. My wife and I disagree on many topics yet we don’t let those differences interfere with how we interact as a couple. As for the change in relationship status, you must let the individuals involved make that decision for themselves. I have found many people make that status change immediately after an argument or break up in order to send a cowardly message to the other half. If you make assumptions about that change then you are just as vindictive and childish as that person. Social media is no different then real life. Treat people there the same as you would if you were face to face. Those who do otherwise are most likely anti-social to begin with and Facebook, twitter etc won’t change that fact. Open dialogue, and intimacy paired with real communication and honesty are the only real keys to relationship.

  • Guest

    I agree with Caley and Jon ( below) I agree that communication is very important and that social media and ‘real life’ are very similar, however they are very different! Whether it is right or now, people are treated differently on social media sites than in real life, and that is the truth!

    • Jonandfloss

      Only if you let them “Guest” Don’t fall for the idea that physical separation or method of connection changes human behavior. Be who you are no matter what the method of interaction and only allow those who are the same into your world. It is what we make it, not what it makes us. If some one allows the way the interact with you change how the interact with you, then who needs them?

    • Jonandfloss

      please pardon my omissions. What I meant to say was If some one allows the way they interact with you change how they interact with you, then who needs them?

  • Ltflea7

    TRUE! Again, a well-thought out and well written article by Caley Tate…

    • Caley

      Thank you

  • Chrissy

    Wow this convo is getting heated! What a wonderful article to get such a great response from people!!

  • HeatherJ

    Facebook can and DOES ruin relationships I don’t care what anyone says.

    • Jonandfloss

      Websites don’t ruin relationships, human behavior does. But what do I know? A PhD in Clinical Psychology, and a PhD in Human behavioral analysis and a 25 years of counseling couples hasn’t really taught me anything. LOL So if you want to call me an asshole go right ahead, but that is Doctor Asshole to you.

      • HeatherJ

        Ok Doctor Asshole

        • Lauraldesigner

          Okay well i’m not putting Doc in front of asshole! … So Asshole!

          Facebook helps ruin the relationships! ……. Clearly your not “in” with the new technology! Or you would have known that.

          And anyone that has to justify their level of intelligence is HILARIOUS!! Plus you could be one of those “Wanna Be’s” behind a computer screen and pretend to have a “PHD in Clinical Psychology, and a PhD in Human behavior”! ….. so have fun pretending today!!

        • Dr. Asshole

          Facts are facts. 48% of men cheat, with or without facebook. Social networking sites are just a means to facilitate the cheating. You can place the blame where ever you wish. However there countless studies about the impact of technology on marriage and relationships. They have all shown that regardless of the propagation of technology in society, the infidelity figures have remained constant since around 1950. Now I use facts, not emotions to prove my point of view, if you can not do the same I really have no interest in further debate with you. I’m sorry your boyfriend boned some other broad he met from facebook, maybe you should go to BJs for some lessons.

          • Ltflea7

            wow……………………………………………………….

          • HeatherJ

            It’s well known that people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn’t ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world. They loosen up, feel more uninhibited, express themselves more openly. Researchers call this the “disinhibition effect.” It’s a double-edged sword. Sometimes people share very personal things about themselves. They reveal secret emotions, fears, wishes. Or they show unusual acts of kindness and generosity. We may call this benign disinhibition.

          • laura

            Go Doctor Heather!!!

          • laura

            True!!!

          • laura

            HAHAHAHA…. Hey doc! If your so self respecting you shouldn’t be talking that way!!!! Shame Shame on you! ….
            Plus we aren’t speaking through personal experience with facebook! … Are you Mr “Happily married person”?

            At the end of all this….. YOU DO NOT FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE ON FACEBOOK!!!!!

            Everyone have a nice holiday!

            Caley great article, well done!!

          • Dr. Asshole

            Well you know what they say…..arguing with people on the internet is like being in the special olympics…..even if you win, you are still a retard. So I will let you children grow up, and talk to me in 20 years. From your attitudes I can easily surmise that by then you will be fatter, more bitter and divorced. Much like many in your generation you will be blaming everyone and everything else for your problems. Perhaps you should join the occupation movement, I think you would fit right in. Have a great weekend.

      • Ltflea7

        Social media IS different… People hide behind the keyboard. Honestly, as cliche as it may sound, listen to the Brad paisley tune,” online.”

  • Lauraldesigner

    Okay, i understand that everyone has there own point of view! However being naive & thinking that people on facebook or any social network is going to be “True” to who they really are is BS!!!! Real people won’t be themselves through a computer screen. Those are the fake people that WISH or WANT to be something that they are not! There is a very rare few out there that WILL be themselves and not put on a mask.

    Plus there couples that have a facebook page that got caught cheating! Girls will check on there spouses facebook page, and anything that is shady will be brought to their spouses attention, (in there on new way, thanks to facebook)! … oops! haha
    So I agree with this article 100%!

    By the way there are dating sites now, if you want to go through that! …. have a ball! Let a computer decide who you should marry!

  • Caley

    Hey everyone, thanks so much for reading my article and commenting. This debate is very interesting! I am not going to get involved since I was the writer everyone knows how I feel… feel free to send this link to your friends and family to see how they feel about relationships and social media. :-)

  • Kdejohn

    Good article Caley – very true!

  • Kawhitaker2

    such a good article, nice job caley! :)

  • Abbyk

    so proud to say we took Comm/Journ classes together, you make us look wonderful!!! Way to go Cale

  • Tim

    nicely written, I agree completely!

  • MH

    Good article getting a lot of comments even negative or positive, still comments however and raising some argument which is what it should do. Well written and it is an opinion and this is what keeps America the great country it is. However, I believe you can meet the love of your life through Facebook or in person. Social media is a normal part of life now and it can create love or destroy it but so can face to face as well. We cannot please everyone all the time, but can sure try to respect one another even in the comment section. Opinions are needed, so keep expressing them but be respectful!

  • John

    Just stumbled on this article, nicely written. So true!

  • Laura

    All of these comments are great! Caley you are a wonderful writer, you go girl! Awesome story, cant wait to read more!

  • Tim

    damn Cale, you have so many comments, this was an awesome article! I hope you win the contest I told all my friends to comment!!! Good LUCK :)

  • Marci

    wonderful story, Tim told me to check this out!

  • Steph

    This is an awesome article Caley!

  • Lauren Pitonyak

    This is a great article and really does speak the truth. I enjoy all the articles you write Caley!

  • Rita

    Caley what a Terrific article, and oh so True!!! Great Job, I hope alot of people read this and take your advice!!

  • Justin

    Im telling everyone to read this because it is so true and I want you to win, you deserve it. You have worked so hard Caley and I admire you!! great story!!!

  • Radertodd33

    Good article girl!